My lovely night in the Emergentcy Room…


     I Normally don’t crave things like “sushi” I’m a Mexican. The types of things that i crave usually start with “tock” and end with “Oh”. For reasons that i cant fathom yesterday i was seriously jonsin for some sort of sushi. Being that i have recently started this nice little health food thing i thought, well sushi is KIND of good for you. Its definitely a lot less fat then lets say a quarter pounder.

So during lunch i ran to my local grocery store. H.E.B (where all the shit goes down) And went to the sushi kiosk to see what they had that appealed to me. Seeing some good stuff i decided to go with the spring rolls and a Philadelphia roll. WHICH i will say, tasted amazing.

So today i wake up around 11:00am and i notice that i have a knarly old pain in my stomach. And i don’t mean like in my guts this was a pain that was literally above my belly button IN my stomach. Having never had a pain like this before i figured it was due to maybe the way that i slept that night. (i sleep on my stomach mostly) Figuring it will pass, i start getting dressed for work. Slowly i realize that this pain, whatever it is, is not going away. Its actually getting worse by the minute. So i sit down and take five for a second to call Roland and let him know my stomach was hurting. During that conversation i feel a little burning sensation….you know in my behind region. Like i maybe need to pass some gas. BUT something tells me, that if i decide to do that i should probably go to a safer location on a toilet somewhere. That proved to be the best decision i made because i would have ruined mattresses and sheets for sure if i decided otherwise.

As the day went on, yea, this was pretty much me. the pain in my stomach began to get worse, and not only was i having issue with diarrhea, i also began to vomit. Greaaaaaaaat. Now, i don’t know if any of you have ever been sick to the point of having it come out of both ends. But its really the least pleasurable experience on gods green earth. You literally have to be SO careful to not put to much strain during the actually vomit process for fear of shitting yourself. 

(if you are wondering, yes….yes it happened to me)

So, as the night goes on, the pain in my stomach gets worse and worse, i can not sleep, hold anything i drink down, or IN. I begin to realize that i am becoming severely dehydrated. (not good) So i decide i should probably go to the emergency room, considering that the pain was killing me and i was shitting and barfing every fuckin where.

Roland, having finished all those years in med school, begins to tell me the situation I’m in was all in my head. The barfing and shitting was all in my head. Which…..i can honestly say was probably NOT the best thing to say to me when I’m in a sicked state. When i become sick with anything that involves, pain, nausea, shit like that i am a HUGE….HUGE…baby. I whine….and cry…..and pace back and forth….i call my mom….its quite embarrassing actually. Always been that way, and I’m sure i always will. So naturally i was pissed and made him take me to the ER anyway. Despite his objections.

Sitting in the ER sucked.  Emergency rooms are a lot like the bus. Some weird ass fucking people hang out in the ER. And for whatever reason these weirdo’s want to fuckin talk to you and find out what you are in for and all that shit. Fuck all that noise, I’m the last person that wants to be exchanging war stories of vomit and diarrhea with someone i don’t even know. Let alone the lady who fuckin got hit by a car the night before.

Now, when you in the ER, they usually take you back initially and ask u questions like, weight, how tall are you, are you pregnant. shit like that. They also ask you to reference the pain scale…the “wong baker pain scale to be precise.

pain-scaleOn a scale of 1-10 how much pain are you in.  At that moment, i was about a 7 or so. But as the night went on, and my impatience with the ER staff, and the pain that i had, i found myself pacing in front of the front window saying things like “i don’t mean to be selfish, and i know there are people before me but i am really in a lot for pain…” Then a couple of hours later my tune changed to a shrill screech..”its a 10!!! My pain is a 10!!!”

Those poor nurses behind the front window….

FINALLY after 4 hours of waiting my name is called. THANK GOD! I am now free to head to the room with the little gurneys and curtains. STILL in pain the nurse comes in to ask me more questions about my pain.

“So you pain is in the stomach right…it hasn’t moved anywhere?”

“No” i say “i think i have to throw up.” She goes and finds me one of those little bin things for me to spew in if the need overcame me.

She begins to explain…”well it sounds like it could be your gall bladder. That pain is usually more centralized in the stomach.

Now, i watch a lot of Dr. House. I know that if there is something wrong with your gall bladder you have to go have some surgery to take care of that shit. So, i start my mini meltdown. JUST as i start, the admissions clerk comes in with paperwork..

“Hi Crystal my names Judy from admissions” She says. I’m here to ask you a couple of questions. First, do you have any sort of living will or Trust set up currently”

……………..My reaction of course was, more of the Um’ what? You guys just tell me i might have a gall bladder issue and you want to know if i have a will?? Roland as you can imagine found the conversation between Judy and i quite hilarious. He finds humor in my pain and concerns.

THANKFULLY the blood work came back clean, i have a stomach infection, the dr tells me he will be giving me anti nausea meds and pain meds. NOW those pain meds were really no joke. She first injected into my IV the anti nausea meds…but as soon and she started with the pain meds i knew right away. I was higher then a kite on a Florida beach. (another thing which Roland found amusing) Damn him….

So I’m home now, resting up. Had a eventful night to say the least, and got prescribed 28 vicodins because of it. *score*  jk. Moral of the story..don’t eat sushi from HEB. That shit will fuck you up!


4 thoughts on “My lovely night in the Emergentcy Room…

  1. Mannnnnnn homie!!! I feel so bad for ya bein so sick and yes I’ve been there myself!! I couldn’t help but picture everything going on and u and Roland bickering, and you being unamused!! As I get these mental pictures I can totally see you pissed off and bein the big baby I know you are ❤ I can see you being somewhat of a bitch hahahaha!! Nothin but love for ya tho ❤ lol..I would have paid money to see you that high girl!!!!! I bet THAT was funny 🙂 I am glad to hear you are home with Meds feelin a lil bit better 🙂 you have successfully turned me off sushi fo life lmao!!!


  3. Aww…Poor baby, that sounds like that whole day sucked. By the way, I love reading your blogs they just crack me up because that is how you would recap the story if you and I were talking. Talk to you later, love you

    • It did, it really did suck. And your cousin in law didnt help….well he kinda helped. But he kept making me laugh and my stomach was hurting.

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