So…I Almost got bitten by a Python today…
For the longest time, I wanted to do something with our snakes tank, poor kid was in there chilling with the MOST boring of tanks. No wonder why she never came out of her fucking house. I mean, if i was a snake, and all i had to look as was a little rock, and a white bowl with water. I would have found a way to kill myself. Or kill my owners. Which ever was easier.
She DID escape one time, when we forgot to put her top clasp’s on. I think she was hungry and looking for a midnight snack. She was probably looking for my cat so she could strangle the shit out of him for constantly eyeballing her through the glass. He’s kind of irritating that way and he has no manners.
Anyways, So today i decided to go hog wild at the pet store and get her all kinds of new shit to make her tank more of a habitat then a aquarium.
Going into this, i noticed she was a little…..on edge. Anyone….snake owner or not, can tell when a snake is about to strike you. They get in this kind of this …..stiff, shaky, type position. And their tongue is testing the air for heat. So i tell her “Trina…..chill out I’m just trying to put in your water bowl”.
I mean what-the-fuck…? Who do i think i am? Fucking Harry Potter or what?
She didn’t give a SHIT who the hell i was! Faster then my mind could really react she struck at me full body lunge.
I screamed like a little girl……
I really couldn’t help it. I love snakes, they are so pretty. I am in NO WAY afraid of snakes. But when they try to bite your fingers off…a person tends to get a LITTLE jumpy. So i gave her just a minute…to you know kind of chill out.
So i look down to my right and notice the slobbering mess we like to call our dog Daphne. She was jumping around, knocking shit over with her tail, chasing the cat. Just full on anxious pile of fur. I refused to lose a finger because SHE was having a meltdown so i threw her ass out and tried again, to at LEAST get a hold of Katrina so she could calm down.
I didn’t even have my hand in the tank yet before she struck at me AGAIN!! *BAM* her head hit the glass with a thud. She wasn’t hungry! She ate a huge rat last week! She was pissed. Despite my greater judgment, i just went for it and grabber her and held her in my arms.
In my mind i was preparing for her biting me…it was going to hurt and i knew it was. I kind of always wanted to be bitten by a python just to say “hey guess what…i have been bitten by a python!! I’m hardcore.” But i was afraid…snakes DO have teeth you know…A lot of them to be specific.She didn’t though THANK GOD. She let me finish was the hell i was doing..And now she is happy, in her nice little habitat….. 🙂
(Is it just me or are ALL our fucking animals MENTAL?)