Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends…


     I Have determined that i have the craziest fucking group of friends that ever existed on this god forsaken planet.  I know a lot of people might think that way of their friends, but i am dead serious when i say that about MY friends…

Case in point, my BEST friend…..rofl….

My poor BFF, looking for someone to love her as much as she loves them….Always finds herself in troubled waters when it comes to men in her life, having recently gotten out of a relationship with the biggest DOUCHE MONGER COCK KNUCKLE everrrrrr. In a moment of weakness, and inebriation happened to reconcile with her ex boyfriend for a night….*IF you know what i mean*  While this was going on her iPhone decided it was going to call “Cock monger” on its own…(Something that would ONLY happen to her let me tell you) Cock monger of course answered and heard it alllll. BFF was devastated naturally, and upset that the circumstances took place. NOT only that BUT Cock monger the motherfucking dick cheese he is decided to record what took place on the line when her phone called him, put it on a CD and give it to her. 

A little time passed BFF realized that this was probably the BEST thing to happen to her because he was no fucking good for her anyway. Then while eating lunch one day she opened her fortune cookie…..

fortune1(I shit you not)

I asked her if there was numbers on the back of that damn fortune because if there was we could go buy a fucking lotto ticket!!


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