My BRAVE, brave man….

brav·er·y (brv-r, brvr)

n. pl. brav·er·ies

1. The condition or quality of being brave; courage.

2. Splendor or magnificence; show.

    It was a regular night of watching TV, Roland and i on the couch huddled up. We had JUST moved to the south side, and i was a little jittery because i went from a Luxury apartment on the north side to a house in a not so good of a neighborhood. Of course the fact that my father kept telling me that if he needed to be visiting he would be bringing his gun.  (thanks dad)

In all honesty it was a cute little house, nice little yard great view of I-37 which was about 100 yards away. Nice sound of drive by’s across the neighborhood in the night, it really can put someone to sleep. –That reminds me of a time when there was a drive by next door and i was asleep in bed, and upon hearing the pops i SAT STRAIGHT UP like a fucking genius. Yea i am really smart when it comes to the proper drive by procedure. And YES apparently there is one.

So, anyway, Roland and i watching TV decide to go to bed. Our house had JUST been broken into the week before so it was adding to my anxiety, and little noise i heard i would FREAK!.  So as we are preparing for bed, i hear something hit the back door, sort of sliding noise. of course i GRAB Roland!

ME: Babe…there is someone in the back yard!!

Roland: What are you talking about i didn’t hear anything.

ME: Babe YES! there is go look!

Now naturally in the movies, the man always grabs a baseball bat or a fucking lamp, and goes and investigates the noise.

robbers 

To be brave and save his woman. Well Roland is NOT that Fucking guy! After a few minutes of listening he hears it also….

ME: SEE BABE!!! GO SEE WHAT IT IS!!!

ROLAND: ………….it will go away….

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THANKS Roland for being the Epitome of bravery in the household. So i think I’m going to buy a fucking gun.

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5 thoughts on “My BRAVE, brave man….

  1. Thats hilarious! I hate investigating noises too! There isn’t always someone to go see, so I play the whole “If I don’t acknowledge it, it will go away” game. It scared the shit out of me one night when I heard scratching on the back door for over an hour, i’m seriously about to cry and call the cops WHILE shooting at the back door, when I hear a meow. The fucking neighbors cat wanted in MY damn house. That cat is possessed I swear.

  2. Drop Dead Fred!!!! YAY!!!

    Don’t worry, my husband ran outside in his boxers (because he THINKS he’s a badass) I got a gun, bc I figure after the bad guys take out my retard of a husband I’ll shoot them!!!

    Good luck with the drive by’s! Duck and tuck lady!!

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