So with writers block of the upmost extreme’s , a sleeping schedule that has been one of someone who has NO EYELIDS, i have been making rather half assed vacuous post’s about stupid, random shit really. So since i have taken the liberty of dosing myself with half priced Nyquil from Walgreens, hopefully this post will be better 😀
With that said……
Dear…..Fat Go-go Dancer…..,
There you are, at the nightspot. Dancing in that cage wearing your skinny friends shorts and halter top. Fuzzy leg warmers that look like you USED to have a dog at one point. Now he is on your legs. Dancing;…….. with you.
You, looking a lot like the gorilla i saw at the zoo last year. Caged, trying to escape. Perspiration pouring down your round face and chins.
When you got dressed before the lovely outing this evening, did you happen to turn the lights on? DID you look in a mirror? Did you happen to notice your stomach hung over your teeny tiny boy shorts like a waterfall over a cliff? Did you listen to your friend….? Because girllllllll when you asked that timeless question “Do i look fat?” Your friend should have taken that opportunity to say “Yes……yes, girl you look fat, you should PROBABLY not wear that outfit out…” But she didn’t and i think that maybe you should get a new friend, because she really did leave you wide open for me to talk about you all night. And i did, thanks for the laughs it was awesome! If you need ME to be that friend girl, i will do that. I will be THAT friend to you! ANYTHING to keep you from going out to a club dressed like THAT.
Swaying, and jiggling to the bass in the music. Swinging on the bars of your cage. Which every time you did those same bars would bend and deform against the weight that they were, I’m assuming NOT USED to supporting. The sad part about it is that I’m sure i will see you again. If not you someone else. maybe someone even bigger next time.
This IS San Antonio after all…..
With that said, round little go-go dancer. Please be aware of us, the club goers next time you put on those fuzzy fuckin boots or circulation depriving fishnets. We DON’T want to see YOUR shit jiggle in a cage kthx!!!