ReOpening has been……difficult.

And i dont know why i didnt PRE think this shit out.  It had literally been the FIRST time i looked at Pshhaww.net since all this went down.   Its been really hard.  The whole of Pshhaww was us, things we did the shit we thought was funny.  I didnt reailse that reopening was going to be so hard. Going back and reading all of it, laughing out loud, getting sad, remembering things that i didnt until i read it.  Like when i got locked in the bedroom and you had to free me, Or when we saw George Castanzas dad at Bill millers after my night in the emergency room.  Or when we hit that point in our relationship where u decided u didnt have to wear pants anymore…lol    OR FINALLY when you had a moment with Jonathan Davis at HEB

Its been almost a year.

breakup

Its still as hard for me as that first night that i slept in my apartment on my own. I wish it wasnt. I may talk shit, but you really did make me a better person. I stopped smoking, and “smoking” and stopped going out, i got my shit together and learned to be a “adult” something people had been trying to teach me since i turned 18. Sometimes i will see something or see someone and know that you would think that shit was hella funny.

One day, i’ll be able to move on and give thanks to god for him putting you into my life. Take the experience that you taught me and showed me…the laughter and the love. The good times we spent together, the talks, the home we shared. Our girls. I’s been over for awhile now. It still kills me. You cant be replaced right now in my heart, there is no way that it will let it happen.

I love you so much, just know that.  I will always help you take care of our girls, even though people say “they’re just dogs”  To US they arent and I will always help u with them financially until the day they’re no longer with us.

I wish you all the happiness in the world because you deserve that. We both do.  You will always hold such a special place in my heart for so many reasons.  I will always remember.  I hope u do too.

-Crystal

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